Depression is never fun. It can be downright painful at times. I've been there, I was in those shoes for way too long in life. But by some miracle, I was able to pull myself out of that hell that I had gotten myself into. It is my wish that no one else suffers any longer than they need to in life.
I came across a book on Audibles that caught my eye. The title of the book was "How Not To Kill Yourself", by Set Sytes and Faith G. Harper. PH.D., LPC-S, ACS. As I was listening to the audio of the book, something caught my awareness.
They speak about writing down all the reasons you want to die. Then next to it, go down the list one by one and debating the opposite of what you wrote. Forcing the mind to rethink options and create new pathways of thinking. After hearing that, I reflected back in my darkest moments and remembered, I too used to do that (and I remember it helping me).
Keep humor in your life. Just be aware of the words you use. I will not tell you that you need to be all chipper and full of sunshine. I know that will just irritate you. Keep being morbid (if that is your thing), but throw in Life to your morbid jokes, as it will take you a lot further in your healing journey.